Man’s “only birthday request” is to wake up to cake in bed, but faces disappointment when his wife refuses to honor his childhood tradition and plans nothing for his birthday, later calling him ungrateful: 'It makes me feel like she doesn’t really care'

Advertisement
  • Couple arguing on the couch in their living room
  • Advertisement
  • Aitah for being disappointed at wife over my birthday?

    I got dissapointed and my wife says there is something wrong with me. I (m42) grew up with the tradition that when its your birthday, you are woken up by getting a birthday cake in bed.
  • Everyone in my household was celebrated like this and it is a tradition I love. You get to eat birthday cake on many birthdays during the year but this way of being woken up is something you only get on your own birthday.
  • On my first birthday together with my (f38) wife she asked what I wished for and I explained that I dont care about presents but that having breakfast in bed with coffe and birthday cake would mean a lot to me.
  • Advertisement
  • My wife did not like the idea as she says it is not fitting to eat sweet food in the morning.
  • I dont remember all my birthdays during our relationship but what I wish for is seldom what I get.
  • Fine, it is only a birthday and I am a grown man. When we got children I wanted to continue my family tradition with them.
  • Advertisement
  • My wife strongly disproved regarding this. I explained how this tradition is very good to give them that sense of being appreciated.
  • I get up early and make the cake while they are still asleep. It shows that someone is willing to inconvinience them selves to make the kids happy.
  • This has been a source of some tension but she cant stop me from doing it so she goes along and the children absolutely love it.
  • Advertisement
  • Father blowing out birthday candles with his young daughter
  • The first couple of years with our kids she tried to stop this tradition in different ways, trying to convince the kids that there are better ways to celebrate and ask if they dont want birthday cake after dinner insted etc..
  • the kids always says they want the cake morning routine. So now it is well established.
  • Advertisement
  • So I have many times had to explain why I love this tradition and made it clear that it is important to me.
  • Yesterday was my birthday and I did not get a birthday cake all day. I was celebrated in the morning and got a present from her and the kids.
  • I cancelled my regular workout a town away as a thought my wife would have something planned for the evening as we where both working untill 16:00 During the day it became clear that nothing was planned.
  • Advertisement
  • As i was cooking dinner for the family I got very sad and I guess it showed as my wife asked if something was wrong.
  • A bit later I told her that every year I only wish for one thing and I have explained why dosens of times.
  • Sad man sitting with his hands crossed on his birthday
  • Advertisement
  • When this is then something I dont get it makes me feel that she doesnt really care (especially as I feel it is not that much to ask for).
  • I also said that If I would have known that tvere was no plan for the day I would rather have been at my wrestling.
  • I said it is fine and not that big of a thing but that it made me sad.
  • Advertisement
  • She then told me that there is something wrong with me and that I must suffer from some childhood trauma that stops me from acting like an adult.
  • I had a happy childhood so thats just weird to me. Now shes super angry, calls me ungrateful and is giving me the silent treatment.
  • I dont really know, so Im asking. Am I the Asshole?
  • Advertisement

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article